In this rapidly digitalizing era, it becomes more challenging for people to make friends in real life. This is especially true if you want to create new bounds and connections in a Korean society. It is not a secret for any foreigner that making Korean friends is a tough task. However, not an impossible one; and there are foreigners who successfully created new and tight friendships with Korean people. With that being said, the purpose of this article is to understand the reasons why most foreigners cannot make expand their network to Korean connections as well as to provide useful ways on how they can implement this and make new friends in South Korea.
Firstly, it is worth understanding why many Korean people are not open to foreign friendships. One and probably the main reason behind this is introverted nature of Korean people. They may feel uncomfortable talking to people they do not know or they have never interacted with before. Another reason is language barriers. Most Korean people feel difficulties in expressing their thoughts in English or sometimes, even if they are fluent in English, they may still hesitate talking because of pronunciation gaps. Also note that, in case of Korean students, they are too invested in education. Foreigners that are new in Korea usually don’t have friends while Korean people live here for many years do have many local friends. Therefore, they might think that making new friends will take time that can be spent on education.
While abovementioned reasons make sense, they are not always the case and we cannot be aware of all possible reasons. However, sometimes foreigners just don’t take the right approach. Korean people do not seem very willing to get to know you and become your friend. In reality, many of them are very excited and willing to make new friends, but they do not actually show it. If you want to make a Korean friend, follow the steps mentioned in this article.
Step 1. Ask a question.
To start first interaction, the easiest way is to ask that person a question. The question should be related to some kind of information that he/she knows. If you want to make a friend with your Korean classmate, ask him/her something related to the course you take together. “Do you know when should we submit this assignment?”, “What articles are for the next class?”. If you take the same class, or work in the same company or something similar, probably you are in the same group chat in Kakao Talk. If so, it is recommended that you ask your question not face-to-face, but on chat. If you ask in real-life, most probably that your interaction will look like this:
- Sorry, could you please tell me when should we submit the assignment?
- Oh, it’s due next Monday.
- Thank you so much.
- You’re welcome.
And that’s it. However, if you chat on a phone, your interaction has chances to continue. People are more confident and comfortable in virtual communications, therefore, follow-up questions may occur. Or, you could express your frustration about the course, which that Korean friend will probably relate. And the chat will continue creating some kind of a connection between you two.
Step 2. Learn and Use Korean.
If you don’t speak Korean, obviously, making a Korean friend will be extremely challenging. Therefore, you should first dedicate time and efforts to learn this language at least to the mediocre level. In case if you speak Korean, just use it when talking to Korean people. Do not worry if you think your level is not good enough and do not be afraid to make mistakes. This is the way of learning and improving any language, which you cannot do any other way. Using the language constantly and making mistakes is essential to understand and fix those mistakes, thereby enhancing language skills. Many Koreans do not speak English, or even if they do, they hesitate using it, thus, in most occasions, Korean is necessary.
Step 3. Invite your friend to grab a coffee or have dinner together.
Before I explain this, I would like to bring your attention to one moment. If a Korean friend tell you “다음에 같이 밥 먹어요”, which means “let’s eat together next time”, directly ask the date. Korean people have a tendency to invite you to dinner but forget about it if you don’t clarify the date. Or, you can invite him/her first. They would not reject enjoying a cup of ice-Americano or a delicious meal with a new friend. If you have a nice meeting together where you get to know each other, things will get easier.
Step 4. Get each other’s social media contacts.
Ask if your friend has an Instagram, for instance, and add each other. This is a good idea because you cannot talk to each other and meet every day, so, in order to maintain some kind of a connection the days when you do not meet or chat, social media platforms are a great way to keep connected by watching each other’s “stories” or commenting pictures.
Step 5. Create a study team.
It is common in Korean universities where students make small groups of 2-5 people and meet constantly to study together. Universities usually offer special rooms for such kind of meetings. Arrange a meeting once a week in a study-room and gather there with you friends to study together. From personal experience, I can tell you this is an effective method not only to study but also to make friendships tighter.
Step 6. Maintain a contact.
Unfortunately, this kind of friendships can easily disappear without contact maintenance. Until you are very close with a person, if you stop contacting each other time after time, this person will just forget about you. Especially, during final exam periods people are busy with their studies and do not have time to meet. It is absolutely normal and I recommend that you do not bother them or yourself just to barely make time for a meeting. Nevertheless, after exams are over, it is a great reason to meet and celebrate this occasion.
Certainly, like in all friendships, personality match is important when you make Korean friends. This article merely provided the ways you can create opportunities to easily find people that will match your personality and become your close friends. The most important thing is to be sincere with people and not to feel upset if you could not make friends in a short period of time. Early or late, you will build strong friendships, all you have to do is to try!
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